Fate, Mar.1996

(From a letter to my sister, Anne. Dated 03.01.1996. I was in my third and last school for the navy program that I was in. Life was the toughest it had ever been for me, to that point. The spelling and grammar has been corrected but the words are the same.)

The thought that I have recurring is that this is my fate. I kind of started feeling this way before I joined the Navy, but it really kicked in after I joined.

First of all, I’m going to tell you what I’m going to do. I’m staying in, because I could live with myself less than I can now, if I got out. This is the ultimate test. If I get out, I failed the one test you can’t retake. I could never do enough things to make up for not finishing this. Another reason I’m staying in, is because this is the way my life is supposed to go. Now I’m going to explain this fate thing in my life. Like I said, it started before “I swore the Oath” (Manowar), but it really kicked in here.

I had these feelings of predestination. I was thinking, if God is omnipotent and omniscient, the we can’t surprise him. He also sees everything all the time, in any time; past, present and future. We can’t surprise him because of his ability to know the future, because he knows everything. (Follow so far?) God then knows all decisions we will make, events that will happen to us, people we will meet, etc. Therefore, our lives are predestined. (Do you still follow?)

Think of all the things that affect our lives. When we think we’re being spontaneous, we’re not. God knew we’d do that.

Also, think if someone were to travel back in time and prevent something in our lives from happening. Most people would say our lives would be changed. That could be the case, but I “beg to differ” (Prong). If time travel will ever become possible, God knows it will be. He, therefore, can see how our lives will be with things missing or events stopped from our lives. Therefore, that is how our lives will be.

This could make someone very pessimistic and depressed, but not me. If you think about it, it should make you very optimistic and worry free. If everything is going according to “plan”, then why worry about anything. Be happy about everything that happens because God’s plan won’t fail and your life is going according to his plan.