Am I still Catholic? (part 3)

09/02/20 - In an attempt to answer “what does it mean to be Catholic?” and “am I still Catholic?” I am putting down the tenants of the catholic creeds and my explanation of it, as I see things now. For the purposes of this essay, the term “alien” implies anything that is not human. Alien could be a literal alien from another planet, another time, a parallel universe or a human from the future. An alien could also be “energy” from a higher level of existence somewhere between where we dwell on Earth and where we end up in Heaven. Also, Heaven is the final resting place of our human souls but is not a physical place. It is another level of existence which is anywhere that is not Earth. Finally, I refer to the Creator of the universes and everything within, as God and as a “he”, although gender is non-existent to the Creator.

MY CREED, PART THREE.

III. STEVE’S CREED:

In parts one and two I did a line by line breakdown of the two “creeds” that a Catholic should agree with and believe. In part one, The Apostle’s Creed. I determined that I was still Catholic as I agreed with every statement of belief written down, if I am interpreting them properly, since they are kind of vague. I believe I understand them properly and am still Catholic. In part two, The Nicene Creed, I determined that I may not be Catholic since some of the statements do not coincide with my belief system now. The paragraphs below will explain to myself and anyone reading this, what it means to be Catholic and if I still am.

In the Profession of Faith, or the Nicene Creed, I still agree with the majority of the beliefs stated. There are three sentences that I have a problem agreeing with anymore. I don’t know if I believe the statement “who with the Father and the Son is adored and glorified”. This is a constant question in my mind and I don’t know if it’s a “yes” or “no” for me.

For many years now I have questioned why no matter how much I pray and how good of a life I live, I get a lot of shit thrown into my life by God (the universe). So, does prayer do any good? Also, if God is the creator or everything and everyone, does he want us to “worship” him as a god or just thank him for making us? Is that the same thing? Over the last several months I have wondered what “prayers” should consist of. Does God actually interfere in our life or did he create everything and is enjoying the game we’re all playing. Are all the good things and bad things that happen in our life just energy coming back at us in return to the energy we give off? Even if that is the case though, I still get way more than my fair share of bad things despite being a very good person.

On the other hand, my two biggest “bad” things are my girls and they have enlightened me so much to the point where I am now ready for the next level of existence. Outside of them though, it still seems like I struggle a lot while trying to “do things right” when everyone around me cheats through life and is getting way ahead of me. I don’t want to go on too long on this sentence so I will simply say that I don’t know if God and Jesus want us to adore and glorify them or simply be thankful that they gave me a physical body to enjoy this human journey.

The summary of this is that I don’t know if God wants us to worship and adore him or not. If he does, what should prayers consist of? Are we allowed to ask for things or just give thanks for everything in our life? If we do ask for things, does God “interfere” in our life and grant them sometimes or does he just like to hear us ask for things and then lets the games of life continue without his involvement? Basically, I don’t know if God interferes in our life or if it is our soul’s journey alone? Also, does he want us to “worship” and “adore” him or just acknowledge his role in creation? Perhaps I don’t understand “worship” and “adore” in the sense that they are meant, or I do both of those by acknowledging and thanking God for my life and everything in my life.

The second statement that I question is “I believe in one, holy, catholic and apostolic Church”. This is a yes and no for me, at this point. Originally this statement was “the holy catholic Church” which is vague but truer. This sentence was amended from the original creed to clarify that the Catholic Church is the one and only church founded by Jesus and kept going by his twelve apostles as his first priests. True as this may be, this statement was written this way for the purpose of ostracizing all non-Catholic Christians. Over the years this statement has been warped to mean that the Catholic Church is the only “religion” that has all the teachings of Jesus and is the only religion that can get you to Heaven. That is absolutely not true. So, yes, I still believe that the Catholic Church holds all of the teachings that Jesus taught but I do not believe that it is the only way to Heaven as this statement is trying to say.

There are many people I know that are not “catholic” but I believe will still get to Heaven. There are also many people who claim to be catholic but will probably not get to Heaven, in my opinion. My biggest “proof” that you don’t need to be Catholic to get to Heaven is my sister, Anne. Even though she was baptized and raised Catholic, I don’t think she believed or lived very many of the tenants of the Church later in her life. She probably did not even claim to be Catholic as an adult. However, shortly after she died, I was at Mass, praying the “Our Father” and I asked God for proof that Anne was in Heaven. Suddenly, I felt her standing next to me holding my hand. That was all the proof I needed. She is in Heaven.

Some would say that the feeling is proof that if you are baptized as a Catholic, but later turn away, you can still get to Heaven. That is what it could mean but that would be a cheesy way to get to Heaven over someone who is a genuinely good person in life but was never baptized as a Catholic. I don’t think that would be fair either and I don’t believe it. I believe that to get to Heaven you have to give more than you take and be a force of good in the world. Baptism in the Catholic Church is irrelevant.

My disbelief above leads right into my disbelief of the statement “I confess one Baptism for the forgiveness of sins”. This statement was changed from the original creed for some strange reason. (The original sentence made more sense.) This sentence means that “I believe in one baptism, when you are born into this earth for the forgiveness of original sin.” Growing up Catholic I always felt that original sin was the Adam and Eve apple and we were born with sin in our souls. Today, I believe that this statement could simply be a ritual to welcome a new physical body into the earthly world. Also, when our soul enters a physical body in this earth, our soul is not worthy to enter Heaven, yet, even though it came from there.

Our soul is here to learn and grow and bring that knowledge back to Heaven. If you think of the baptism of an infant as a “welcome to your journey” ritual, it makes sense. However, I don’t think I believe in “original sin” anymore but the author could simply be explaining to shepherds that each child needs to be welcomed into this world as a member of the human race. I also believe that souls that were not baptized can make it to heaven, so baptism is not a requirement to ascend to the next level. So, basically, baptism is a really cool welcoming ceremony for Christian families but meaningless in the road to Heaven.

Summarizing this essay of my thoughts is not an easy thing to accomplish but I will try. If the Catholic Church had stayed with the Apostle’s Creed as its only statement of beliefs, I could still claim to be Catholic. If they had replaced the Apostle’s Creed, completely, with the Nicene Creed then I could not claim to be fully Catholic since I disagree with three of the statements of belief. However, the problem is that the Mass allows us to say either creed during Mass. It’s not a case of “one or the other”. Both are acceptable to recite and to most people they mean the same thing. They meant the same thing to me for 43 years of my life. Unless you analyze the differences in the words of the creeds, you would think one is just longer with a few more things we believe.

Partly because I was raised Catholic and partly because I wouldn’t know what to “be” without the Church, I am content to claim that I am still Catholic. I may not be the best Catholic because I question everything and I don’t believe a few things from the Nicene Creed, but I’d put my faith against any Catholic today and feel good standing. No human can have the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so the best humans can do is come up with explanations to explain the unexplainable. I feel that the Catholic Church has done this the best of all the “churches” in the world and I am still proud to be a Catholic.

Last, but not least, is the fact that too many people confuse the Catholic Church with the people running the Catholic Church. They are not the same thing at all. The Vatican is a corporation and is therefore subject to impurities and corruption. Most of the leaders and laity in the church today are corrupt and/or evil and that is a big part of my frustration in life. The Catholic Church, as founded by Jesus, is incorruptible and is the way, the truth and the life. The Catholic Faith is not the same as the Catholic Church.